Schedules, We Have Your Schedules (But Not Every Day)

I thought it might be a little interesting to see what some of the district's schedules looked like, back in the day. To view each image in a larger size, right click on the photo and select "View Image". Here's a typical one for the month of January. Long's Drugs I miss you.

One from October:

Sometimes after schedules were issued we would receive updates:

Nail your schedule down, people!

And here is the infamous "not to be discussed or termination will result" schedule, as mentioned in this previous post:

Tag You're It! (Part 2)

In one of my old posts I wrote about the tags that RGIS auditors used during inventories. They were long strips of colored paper (most of them were yellow but there were green ones, red ones and blue ones as well) that were used to mark areas of the store that had already been counted. In the comments section at that post someone mentioned that RGIS doesn't use those paper tags anymore and that stickies are used now.

That's too bad because some auditors would have fun using those old paper tags to play a joke on a fellow auditor. Those paper strips would be used to tag someone's car. The tags would be stuck all over the vehicle after an inventory,  the idea being to annoy someone when they had finished an inventory for the night. They'd be all tired and just wanting to get out of the store, drive home and collapse into sleep. However, when they would finally be allowed to escape the inventory they would go out into the parking lot and be confronted with the unlovely sight of dozens of tags covering their car. They would then have to spend time picking them all off their car, whimpering with fatigue the whole time. 

Writing about tagging is one thing but actually seeing it is quite another. I recently came across a couple of old photos of a vehicle having been tagged with RGIS tags and so without further ado here they are:

Note all the spots that the tags were placed in. Under the windshield wipers of course, but also in the doors, under the hood, in the tire rims, on the door handles, in between the roof and the windshield, in the bumper...no good spot left untagged. Ah the memories.

Update: Several people have remarked in the comments section that their districts still use the paper tags. I'm glad to hear that as that means the possibility of tagging cars will live to see another day.

Is There Any Loyalty At RGIS?

Mahonri made a comment at my last post regarding an idea for a new post, and I thought it was a good idea. Mahonri mentioned loyalty at RGIS, and how RGIS used to reward loyalty from an employee. That is, how workers who had been with the company for years were treated differently than those who had been with the company for only a short time . But now, according to Mahonri, seniority at RGIS no longer means anything and everyone is treated the same.

I experienced a little of that myself, when I was still working at RGIS, but for a different reason. I started working there right after New Year's Day so at first there was a lot of work available. But as months passed and work slowed down I noticed that some people were still working more than me, even though I had made it clear I was available for work anytime, anywhere. I soon realized that a few auditors were being given more work than us newbies and that was because they were veterans at the company and were getting preferential treatment because of it. I don't remember having too much of a problem with that; it seemed reasonable that those who had been there longer would get the plum stores or just more of them. They had been there longer and had earned it. And as I continued to work at RGIS and improved my accuracy and speed I was given more stores too.

However that changed when my district promoted our AM to DM. That particular person was well-known in our district for chatting up all the new young female employees and once he was made DM he started giving lots more stores to any new girl he was infatuated with, even though she had only been with RGIS for a very short time and hadn't proven herself as a fast or accurate counter. And all because the DM had the hots for her. I remember there being a lot of frustration regarding this, not just from me but from the other veterans as well. It was as though all our time spent trying to improve our speed and accuracy, and spending months and years traveling all over three counties, and finishing one inventory at a store and going straight to another store inventory without going home, meant nothing. Of course, this was a different situation than from what Mahonri had mentioned but the feelings of resentment from the veteran auditors was much the same. What about all the years of hard work and little or no sleep and endless miles of travel that we experienced at RGIS? Did that mean nothing to them?

I'm curious as to how many other RGIS employees have experienced this. Are you a long time RGIS employee and now you find yourself having to compete for store assignments with auditors who have only been with the company for a short time? Do you think this is fair, or do you think that auditors who have been with the company for a longer period of time should be rewarded with the "better" stores or with more work than a newer employee? And if you're a newer employee, do you think it's fair that everyone is treated more or less the same? Or do you think that some employees might be right in expecting more because they've been with the company longer?

And finally, is it different for you and do you feel that loyalty from employees is still being rewarded by RGIS in your district? Also, just to play devil's advocate for a bit: does RGIS deserve any loyalty from their employees? I'll be interested to read your comments.

RGIS Sightings, Anyone?

The comments on the last blog post had reached over 100 comments so I thought a new post was in order. I saw RGIS recently at a local store. They were just finishing up there; the suitcases were being pulled out to the van. That's the first thing that I noticed, those suitcases on wheels. When I was still working for RGIS we had these soft-sided brown vinyl suitcases to hold machines, lasers, paper tags, etc. They had two handles and nothing else, and we would have to lug those suckers, one in each hand, out to the company van while the AM or DM was busy schmoozing up the store manager one last time. The polyester burgundy short-sleeved shirts were still in evidence, and the black pants as well. Ah, nostalgia.

Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to see them in action; I would have been curious to see the latest versions of the audit machines; do they still even call them that? I also got a chance to see WIS in their natural habitat as well, on a different day. Their blue shirts look a lot better than those tacky vests they used to wear a long time ago. They were using those all-in-one audit machines, with the laser built in, it looked like. I guess RGIS probably has those too, huh? It's been a long time. But not too long. :-)

It made me wonder though. Have any other ex-auditors ever encountered RGIS doing an inventory while you were out shopping? What was it like to bump into your former co-workers? Pleasant? Awkward? Hostile? Nauseating? Post your experiences (and anything else RGIS-related) here.

So Why Do You Still Work For RGIS?

Someone posted this comment on my previous blog entry:

Misfit
Thank you for this blog
Could you please start a new topic - suggestion, how you managed to leave, and recover your sanity. There are good people suffering out there. Try to tell them, it's ok to not suffer, how to leave. thanks!!!

I thought it would be a good start to a new blog entry, for people who have already left RGIS to share their stories on how and why they left, if it's been a good or bad decision for them and if they regret not leaving sooner. Or if they're still with RGIS then why? Is it because of financial difficulties perhaps, needing the job because there's little else available where you live? Or maybe you're that rare individual (winks) who still enjoys working for RGIS in whatever capacity. Whatever the case share your stories here. And of course anything else about RGIS you'd like to post. People have been using this blog as a way to pass on info about the various lawsuits that have been going on vs. RGIS, and also to ask questions about all sorts of things like time sheets, breaks, questions about the equipment, etc. I think it's a great way for people to share and exchange useful information. As I've said before I wish I had found a blog to share my tales of RGIS woe when I was still working for the company; I think it would have helped me a lot to know I wasn't in the only RGIS dist. with problems.

As for my story about leaving RGIS it isn't really that exciting. I just found another job. It took a while but I never stopped looking. And I started looking once I stopped enjoying my job as a RGIS auditor. Because as strange as it may sound to some, for quite a while there I did enjoy it. I found I loved counting things and trying to devise new ways to count sections of things in stores to increase my speed but without sacrificing my accuracy. And for a while the people I worked with were enjoyable as well. But things worsened within my district as the years passed and I stopped enjoying what I was doing and started looking for new work; luckily I was able to find something that paid decently and that I liked doing, or at least that I could stand it better than my RGIS job.

I guess the bottom line is: if you're not happy working for RGIS, if it makes you miserable and you hate every minute of it then start looking for another job NOW. Not exactly the most earth-shattering or revelatory advice, I know. But that company, no company, is worth risking your health, mental and/or physical, over. Most people know about Craigslist as a place to look for jobs. Another couple of websites that people I know have found jobs through are indeed.com and snagajob.com. If your local community college/junior college offers business classes then they're worth checking out as most of these schools have job placement for their students. And all of the old suggestions are worth doing too, things like telling friends and family you're looking for work, pounding the pavement and handing out your resume to businesses even if they have no Help Wanted signs in their window.

There is life after RGIS. And it can be very good indeed.

Looking For A New Job?

The comments on the previous post were up to 150 in total so I thought it was time to start a new post. I was just taking a look at the official RGIS website and I thought this was funny: on the home page, under the title Looking For A New Job? it reads:

RGIS is always looking for qualified people to fill positions worldwide. From part-time seasonal to life changing careers.

It was the life changing careers part that made me laugh, for some odd reason. Of course, RGIS doesn't indicate whether working for them will change your life for better or for worse. Hmmm...

Google RGIS...

...and this blog shows up in the fifth spot! At least it did today when I Googled it. Anyway, nothing really new to report, I just noticed that the comments on the last post had really piled up and I know some people prefer to read comments when they haven't gone too far over one hundred so here we are.

I'm guessing things are pretty quiet right now for RGIS auditors, what with it being the holidays and all. I hope things will pick up for everyone come January and that the new year is better and brighter for everyone. I know it's hard to think that it will given that you may still be employed by RGIS but hey...it's a job, right? Maybe not one that pays a living wage or that gives you good benefits or treats you as though you were a human being or...ahh, never mind. Screw RGIS!

I Posted These For The Lulz

Over the period of time that this blog has existed there have been a small number of comments made here that for one reason or another didn't get published. But just because they didn't get published doesn't mean that they disappeared altogether. Oh no. I managed to save a few of them and I'm finally giving them their glorious due today. I edited some of them, removing people's full names, clearing out the spam links and inserting some paragraph breaks in the last two comments (both were in single paragraph form) but the rest is genuine. The salty angry language, run-on sentences, punctuation mistakes and glorious spelling errors are all real. Enjoy!

P.S. I changed the layout of the blog. Do you think it was better the way it was before? Is it better now? Let me know in your comments. Thanks!


1. I been working with the company for 3 years and I have seen problems like in any other company my question after i read your blog is if you dont really like the people and how RGIS DM or AM act why dont you look for work in another company ??? if is that bad i dont know why you still there...oh right i just imagine that maybe you are not qualified for a "better" place to work.

2. A great deal of RGIS employees are educated and do this for extra money. I think you are mad because you have no skills, please don't speak for 99.9% of RGIS employees.

3. Who ever posted this probably only work one Penny's and held about a 150 APH I'm a top gun in Wichita D61 and yeah the hours suck the management is a old joke that I'm tired of hearing but I'm fuckin addicted to blowing you fuckin newb ass loser misfits away cause I'm getting paid fat paid. I do this job because I enjoy it, not the people, the work. Besides the world has jobs for misfits that fuck up every thing they do:McDonalds, Burger King, etc. So enjoy your minimum wages cause I'm laughing at you from 3000 mi. away BrokeAss

4. Let's face it, they fired you because you could not count past 15 shithead.

5. your all morons so shut the hell up stop arguing about the name and remember that most people don't care.

6. I came to my computer and saw this crappy blog site on my screen,I ask my husband what was up with this. He goes o i just wanted to see whats been up with RGIS.WHY I said, we worked for RGIS when it was worth working there and it was still crap so why would any body want to be a looser and come blog about this job! its bad enough you all work there, but you take time when your not at that crappy job to talk WOW what a shame, to bad i wont ever be back to to see what you loosers type in response sorry i have a life, and if you see my husband in here kick him out even though he don't work there he still wants to be in the loop WOW he just as bad as you guys gross!!!!!!!!

7. Wow so i gues the 124 district isnt the only bad district. We have A.M's trying to set ppl up firing good ppl and running into the company into the ground. My story is real messed up i was a team leder for them and one of the auditors who is a friend of mine before i became a team leader was helping me out because i got hurt on the job( and they didnt want to help me with that either!) My friend has an A.M living in her house and somebody had already contacted corporate about it and told her if she wants her job that she has to move out and shes still living there!

But anyway my friend she was driving me to the inventories cause she was on my team anyway. the last time i had a store with her my D.M tells me my friend will no be in my tomorrows store knowing i needed her. so that night she was at my house hanging out after work and before she leaves i tell her my fiance to help get the equipment out of her trunk and into my trunk. he pulled everything out except the Labtop that happened to be sitting on the front passenger side floor. i didnt realize her nor him took it out cause he only grabbed what was in the trunk.

the next day when i got to my inventory i opened my trunk to get the equipment and when i noticed No labtop in my car it hit me that it was still in her car so i had to call my d.m to bring me a lab top. after my inventory i told my friend that i left my labtop in her car and she bust out tellin me no i didnt that it isnt in her car! I asked her did you help my fiance take the equipment out and she says no and i said did he grab anything from the front of her car she said he only grabbed from the trunk and i told her the labtop was sitting on the floor of her passenger side and she says that she just got in the car and left and didnt think to see if anything was on the floor of her car.

The D.M suspended me for 6 week before she finally decided to fire me then put me down as terminated for STEALING!Then gave my team to a girl who got fired for fighting and cursing a store manger out. the rehired her 2 months later. she cursed out another manager then 2 days later gets a gray shirt then gets my team but me a labtop gets stolen out of another employees locked car and im unrehirable and then try to say i stole the labtop and i didnt even do steal that carp! And also that a.m who lives my friend. No body likes her and she also has the copy of the key to my friends car! Alot of ppl think it was a set up to get rid of me cause they owe me alot of back pay from my 908's.

8. District 124 is a skam. They don't pay you like they claim if you get it any at all.they pick and choose. K. is very rude and unprofessional and so is B. You call in to tell them something very important has came up and you get yelled at not talked to. They give the travel time and Bounus Pay to their friends they party with who work only when they want to cause they our hung over and did to much cocain the night before so they didnt sleep.Or who they are Kin to.

for exsample E. is a wanted person. But she has a job best friends with a team ledder with a cocain dealer as a husbund(the team ledder)E. has ran around with the team ledders husband drinking and cocaining dealling all night so there for can't work her sch. but yet a singel mother paying and raiseing childern get recommend for missing work.Because of car trouble dental pain and other excussable reasons. guess i should be hiding from the law and a drug /drunker and suck somebody's husbands dick to have a job?

The other team ledder is such a rude as Bitch hell who wants to call and say anything..She hires her own child and tells the working mother well your kid not 18 and can't work so they pertend he didn't pass the test .(dam keep the money in the family I recon) the mother with rent and ch.support and a child to raise hell that Bitch don't need the money. And lets get to how rude the rest of work is they raise their voices talk to you like you don't matter and if their friend or family needs off well then don't matter if you have a excussable reason they write you up if you are not in the KLAN you know the drill.

Cherry pickers that count all the easy stuff and let mention how if they don't like you they will take away from area counted ao add to it. And to the stores well ever wondered why your pre count didnt match. well you should role your tapes back on the count. Check out place such a cosmatics they are short cause they going into the pockets of the counters. I have seen it I have tryed to say something but now I have a job but no schueld so I can't even file for unemployment.but yet I have all these children to care for like I said 2 to pay childsupport to and one at home.

They don't pay you gas or the travel..And don't mess up and help anyone in DRI.124 cause sure at first it is like you get something from they co workers but then it is well I didn't get paid I got you cover comes out their mouth when you hear that take my advise stop giving rides cause next thing you know you are paying 100.0 in gas for two weeks and you get a check for 136.00 for two weeks..so you are the one left standing.. And their friends that are team ledders well the excuss is you shouldn't have helped them knowing they needed it.Just a short storie about Disrt.124

Yes i can prove must everything I said. And got some wittness Like CVS role your camers Family Dollar role your camers you will see.. that Drist. 124 top counters putting the make up in their clothes pouch ect.....

sorry about the spelling I have that drun disablity

Our Customer's Customers

Most of the inventories that I did for RGIS were either before or after store hours. That is, the store would be closed to customers while we peons, er, auditors counted the merchandise. However, for whatever reason some stores chose to have us inventory their stock while the store was open for business. That kind of inventory could be a headache or a hilarity, or both. A headache because if it was one of those inventories where a lot of verifying would be done then “mistakes” in counting were bound to occur. I mean, if an auditor is counting merchandise and a customer comes along and takes an item that was just counted then of course your totals are going to be off. Or if a customer pulls some items out of one department, wanders around the store for awhile, decides that she doesn’t want those items and then just dumps them in a different part of the store then the counts are going to be off in two different areas. To us RGIS people it would be clear that incidents like this were bound to occur and we wouldn’t expect to have perfect counts. However, to some thick-headed store personnel something so glaringly obvious just never crossed their minds as a possible happening and the areas in question would need to be recounted. Ooh, fun!

But sometimes having the store’s customers shopping right along with us counting could be funny too, in a weird sort of way. I remember this one time when I was doing an inventory at a Toyworks (local independent toy store). It was late morning, and I think I was counting all the Brio or Playmobil or some such crap. This little boy was in the store with his mom. They spent around 15 or 20 minutes in the store and the whole time they were there the little boy kept following his mom around the store saying, “Mama, my butt itches. Mama, my butt itches. Mama, my butt itches.” On and on and on, over and over and over again, for 20 minutes! Jesus. After hearing this for just a few minutes I wanted to yell at the kid, “Well then for Christ sakes, scratch your damn ass!” But of course you can’t say that to a little kid, can you? At least, not if you’re wearing a RGIS polo and counting wooden trains in a toy store. The whole time the kid was complaining about his itchy ass his mom never said a word. Sometimes I wonder if now, years later, the kid is still saying it.

Another kid incident happened when I was counting in an Albertson’s grocery store. This inventory was at night (start time 8:00 PM). I think the store closed at midnight, or maybe it was open 24 hours. Anyway, it was around 9:00 PM or so and I was counting dairy, or soda, or something in the cold cases. A little kid around 9 or 10 came running into my area to grab something. He, for some bizarre reason, wasn’t wearing shoes and was just in his socks. I guess the floor must have been highly waxed because when he reached the section I was counting he must have slid about 10 feet before he landed right on his butt (ass comes into play again). I asked the kid, “Hey, are you all right?” He just laughed kind of embarrassedly and said, “Yeah, I’m okay” before standing up and grabbing whatever it was he had come into the store for and leaving. Walking, not running this time.

At another Albertson’s I was counting some canned goods when these two young men came in late one night and asked me where the condoms were. I hadn’t even been in the OTC that night so I said I wasn’t sure. I explained to them that I wasn’t a store employee, I was only there doing inventory. One of the young men said very snottily to me, “Well, if you’re doing inventory then you should know where everything is, right?” Oh, really? Everything? Because little old me counted every damn thing in the whole supermarket, is that it? Me, one person, counted every single piece of merchandise in the whole goddamn place, is that what you’re thinking? You snotty little shit. But once again of course I couldn’t say what I really wanted to, since I was wearing that damn RGIS polo. So I just suggested very politely (gag) that they should check with the store personnel. They stomped off in a huff. And good evening to you too! Jerks.

Then at yet another Albertson’s (what’s with that store and their customers?) we were doing an inventory after store hours. You’d think that would keep us safe from the store’s customers but not that night. A group of teenagers came to the front door of the store and tried to get in. They were confused because:

1. All the lights in the store were on.
2. They could see people (RGIS drones) inside.
3. The doors wouldn’t open.

They started banging on the front doors and yelling something unintelligible. The store manager was in the back room so our RGIS AM went to the door and told the kids through the glass doors that the store was closed. The kids grumbled a bit and then went away. We thought that was the end of it until a few minutes later. I was counting the stuff at one of the checkout stands when I heard banging on the glass doors again. I looked up and was treated to the sight of some pressed ham under glass. That’s right, three teenagers were mooning us with their bare asses. They did so for a couple of seconds, laughed uproariously and ran off. Oh my God, I just realized. That’s another ass story!

Finally, I was counting some OTC at a Long’s Drugs once, and a store clerk was in the same aisle chatting to me about something. An old man appeared at the front of the aisle; he stood with his feet planted firmly and absolutely shouted out the word “TYLENOL!” Not, “Excuse, me, where’s the Tylenol?” or “Do you know where the Tylenol is?” but just “TYLENOL!” at the top of his lungs. The clerk turned to the guy and calmly said to him, “Are you giving a testimonial as to the wonders of Tylenol, and how much you love it? Or were you looking to buy a box of it?” The old man blinked and screamed just as loudly, “WHERE DO YOU KEEP THE TYLENOL?” The store clerk showed the old man where the pain relievers were, and then came back to me and told me that that sort of thing happens all the time, so when it does he usually liked to have some fun with the customer first. He said that the customers almost never had a sense of humor and never got the jokes. Oh well, at least he never got mooned at work.

Smile, You're Working For RGIS!

I keed, I keed.

I just noticed that the comments on my last post reached the 100+ count so I thought it was time to start a new one. I haven't had the time lately to go over any more of my sweet RGIS memories and post them so I've just put this little bit of nothing here to fill in for the time being.

Has anyone ever tried searching for RGIS in Google Images? I just did and among the expected pics (audit machines, models in RGIS plastic burgundy polos) some weird stuff popped up. Fart Bomb Bags (farts in a bag, 12 count), a naked ass, weed and some really ugly sandals. What is Google trying to tell us about RGIS? Hmmm...

To TP Or Not To TP? That Is The Question

Kevin was one of the most disliked district managers Santa Rosa had seen in quite some time. On the surface he could appear to be friendly and upbeat but in fact this happy-go-lucky demeanor of his masked a great incompetence in his ability to run a RGIS district. Most if not all of the auditors, team leaders and other managers in District 414 had quickly grown weary of DM Kevin’s false bravado and phony cheerfulness. Nearly everyone had a negative attitude regarding Kevin ranging from mild dislike to outright hatred. Virtually no one save an unaware newbie felt Kevin capable of making intelligent decisions in how to handle a single inventory, much less an entire district.

This contempt that almost everyone in District 414 felt for DM Kevin was not unjustified. There was a long list of troubling incidents and decisions involving Kevin that had caused his district to turn against him. There were numerous raises promised to auditors but never given, mistakes made in scheduling auditors for inventories, mistakes made as to which Team Leader or Manager should be running which store, and mistakes made as to when these inventories should be held. All of this ineffectiveness of Kevin’s left everyone in the district in a constant state of frustration and anger.

Complaining about DM Kevin and his many faults and blunders did absolutely no good. Visits paid to our district by various Operations Managers fared no better. Dist. 414’s once prestigious reputation as an efficient, well run and go-to district continued to fade with each passing day.

Auditors and TL’s would talk amongst themselves about the situation, sharing their own personal DM Kevin horror stories and expressing frustration at how nothing ever seemed to change. Venting about one’s crappy RGIS DM could be somewhat therapeutic but the benefits of merely saying, “Kevin sucks!” and doing nothing about his sucking were short-lived and ultimately unsatisfying. Real, actual, physical action needed to be taken in order to bring about some relief from our troublesome situation, and TL Heather and I believed that we had the solution.

One late Friday night during a Waldenbooks inventory (endless ISBNs) in Santa Rosa Heather and I were as usual rehashing some complaints and grudges we had against DM Kevin. We had in previous inventories discussed various ways to exact revenge on Kevin; toilet-papering his house was by far the most popular idea. At Waldenbooks that night Heather reminded me once again of our nefarious desire to TP Kevin’s house. She said that since Kevin was away on vacation at the time and was due back the next night that tonight would be the perfect time to do the TPing. I agreed and the two of us quietly canvassed the group of auditors at Waldenbooks to see if anyone wanted to join in. Only Tina and TL Mondo (who was bungling, er, running the inventory) agreed to be our accomplices. Having Mondo participate in the TPing was crucial because he alone in the group that night knew where Kevin lived. Mondo also reassured us that nothing untoward would come of our misdeeds; that Kevin would in fact regard the whole thing as a great joke and even as something ultimately positive for the district as in, “Hey, my auditors came together, bonded and did something as a real team!” Myself, Heather and Tina were actually naive enough to believe this crap.

The Waldenbooks inventory finally ended around 1:00 am. Me, Heather, Tina and Mondo each got into our respective cars and drove to the local Food 4 Less supermarket (open 24 hours) where Tina and I each bought a huge 12 roll pack of toilet paper. I’ve often wondered since then what the sleepy clerk who rang up our purchases thought about four giggling adults in matching burgundy shirts buying 24 rolls of toilet paper at 1:30 in the morning but the guy never said a word.

The four of us had decided earlier that it would be a good idea if we didn’t all drive to Kevin’s but instead we would drive to a mini-mart near Kevin’s, park there and take Tina’s car to the house. This was done and we were on our way.

I was curious as to what sort of residence a RGIS district manager could afford to rent in Santa Rosa and upon our arrival at the place I was not surprised to see a real rathole of a house. Kevin’s tiny, one story beige-colored dump looked much like all the other small, shabby homes on his street. A postage stamp-sized yard filled with sparse amounts of crushed volcanic rock and skimpy dried-up bushes fronted the sad little house. Toilet paper would only improve its looks.

Tina parked right in front of Kevin’s house and the four of us climbed out quietly. We found the dark, unlit entryway to Kevin’s front door off to the right side of the house and decided to begin there. We ripped open the packages of toilet paper and got to work.

We covered anything and everything we could reach at Kevin’s place with toilet paper. Even things that we couldn’t reach like the roof and gutters we TP’d. Each of us would take hold of the loose end of a roll of toilet paper in one hand and use the other hand to toss the roll up and over the roof. The roll would come cascading down another side of the house leaving a trail of toilet paper behind it. This process was repeated over and over again; the air was fairly thick with flying rolls of toilet paper.

Not only was it cathartic for us RGIS auditors to TP our DM’s house (take that you rat bastard Kevin!) but it was incredible fun too. The four of us were trying to be as quiet as possible while coating Kevin’s house in toilet paper but we found it difficult to stifle our laughter. I was afraid our constant giggling would awaken Kevin’s neighbors but my fears were groundless as no one turned on a single porch light or peeked out a window. In fact Mondo told us a few days later that he spoke with Kevin’s next door neighbor who told Mondo that “You guys were really good (at TPing), I never heard a thing.”

We spent nearly an hour festooning the front of the house and yard with toilet paper. I even wrapped the little dried-up shrubs with toilet paper. Then Heather made a great discovery: the gate to the backyard. The latch was on the inside of the tall gate but little Heather had somehow managed to leap up and unlatch it. We all scampered into the backyard and proceeded to trash it as well.

Not surprisingly the backyard was as dilapidated as the front. The grass/weeds were knee-high; a few skimpy rose bushes were planted along one side of the fence. So sad. Since we didn’t have too much toilet paper left we decided to forego TPing the back part of the house and instead concentrated on the yard itself. We laced and crisscrossed the tall grass with toilet paper, making a sort of gigantic checkerboard pattern on top of it. It was fantastic. I snapped several photos of our artistic achievements with my little camera. After all it was most important that our fabulous work be recorded for posterity.

While Tina decorated the rosebushes with more toilet paper I went up to the sliding glass door at the back part of the house and looked inside. Even by the faint light of the moon I could see that the kitchen was a mess, with papers strewn all over the table and countertops. What a slob Kevin was.

Finally we were down to our last few bits of toilet paper and the four of us stepped back for a moment to admire our handiwork. The backyard was a vision in toilet paper loveliness. Not even a Tonka toy dump truck, abandoned by Kevin’s ex-wife’s son, escaped our toilet paper wrath. Then Mondo added one final touch: he took the last few pieces of toilet paper and dipped them into the rainwater that had collected in the toy truck, wadded them up into soggy paper blobs and flung a bunch of them at the sliding glass door where they stuck like glue. We were done.

As we trooped out of the backyard, still giggling, Mondo pointed out Kevin’s garage window on our left. We looked inside and could see several empty 12 packs of Coors Light beer. Mondo told us that Kevin would regularly polish off a couple 12 packs of beer every weekend. I though to myself, “Hmm, I guess that explains a lot about why our district is the way that it is.”

We got into Tina’s car and drove away, pleased with our efforts and success at getting away with it all. Tina dropped us off at the mini mart and we all drove to our homes. It was quite late, around 2 or 3 in the morning but I wasn’t sleepy at all. I was jazzed and my adrenalin was pumping. Yes! We had finally achieved revenge against our lousy RGIS district manager. Score one for the lowly auditors! I finally reached my home and fell into bed.

When I woke up later that morning I realized that there was still one last thing I needed to do to complete The Great RGIS TP Caper. I got dressed and drove over to Kevin’s house. In the bright morning light Kevin’s neighborhood was even seedier-looking than it had appeared last night. I parked my car in front of Kevin’s house and took some really great photos of the place from various angles. All that toilet paper was even funnier in the daylight. I then drove over to Walmart and dropped off the film for developing.

I had a JC Penney’s inventory scheduled for later that day in Petaluma and on my way there I stopped off at Walmart to pick up the photos. They were beautiful, perfect and hilarious, especially the daylight shots of the TP’d house. It was a real toilet paper masterpiece.

At the Penney’s inventory I waited until our lunch break (a shocker I know, RGIS auditors getting a lunch break) before I went out to my car and grabbed the packet of photos. Most of the RGIS crew had gathered in the store employee’s lunch room and that’s where I went. I passed around the photos and everyone had a great laugh, snickering at the shots of Kevin’s house drenched in toilet paper. I was so proud.

A few hours later it was close to midnight and we were finishing up the inventory. I was busy scanning a rack of men’s jackets when I saw Tina hurrying over to me with a worried look on her face. She told me that Kevin had just come back home from his week-long vacation and was more than a little surprised at the sight of his house. In fact he was furious. Tina said, “Kevin just called Joe (area manager running the Penney’s inventory). He’s pissed!” She said that DM Kevin told AM Joe that he didn’t care exactly who had done it (funny that Kevin immediately knew it was his auditors that had TP’d his house and not some neighborhood kids) but that he wanted “this shit” cleaned up by the end of the day tomorrow or else.

Upon hearing this I was a little angry myself. Mondo had told us the night before that Kevin wouldn’t mind his house getting TP’d and would see the humor in it all. Aaarrggh! That’s what we got for trusting Mondo. I headed over to where Mondo was scanning some t-shirts and accosted him. “You said that Kevin wouldn’t get mad!” I fumed. “Tina just told me that he called Joe and he’s pissed off!” Mondo was nonplussed and he struggled for a reply. Finally he came up with this: “Well, if you get fired we’ll all get fired too.” Oh gee, thanks you jerk.

I flat out refused to return to the scene of the crime to clean up all that toilet paper. I feared that if I went to his house Kevin would be lying in wait and immediately upon sight of any or all of us we would be fired on the spot. I can laugh about it now, being so worried about getting fired from one of the worst jobs ever (also, since when did RGIS ever fire anyone?) but at the time I needed that shitty job and the little money it brought to me so I wasn’t taking any chances.

Heather pretty much felt the same way as I and refused to go back to Kevin’s too. In the end it was Tina and Mondo that went back to do some toilet paper picking up, and for some bizarre reason Mondo’s obnoxious brother Luis tagged along. Suck up. I heard later that when the three of them arrived at Kevin’s house and began cleaning up the mess Kevin suddenly popped out of his house with an “Aha!” and snapped a photo of them. Apparently time had healed his toilet paper wounds and as it turned out he did indeed see the humor in it all. What an asshole.

I Love RGIS!

Ha! I knew that title would catch your eye. You probably thought, "What the hell? Has The Misfit finally gone over to the Dark Side?" No, of course not, never in a million years. I will never drink the RGIS Kool-Aid. No, I just noticed that the comments were adding up in the last post and thought it was time to start a new post, to make it easier for people to scroll through everyone's comments. I'm still working on my toilet paper post (see the "Emails" post for more details) so I had to come up with a little shortie like this one to fill in for the time being.



I also wanted to reiterate that I absolutely love reading everyone's comments, both about this blog and about their own past and current experiences working for RGIS. Every last tale, no matter how short or how long is endlessly fascinating to me and I once again want to thank everyone for sharing their own RGIS stories here. Please continue to do so!

Emails, We Get Your Emails...

I've received a few emails recently that all had a similar (and good!) suggestion for this blog. Several people have noted that my last post "Help! Help Wanted!" had collected quite a few comments (by the way, thanks! again to everyone who continues to leave comments); they mentioned that it was taking a long time to scroll down the list of comments left by others and suggested that I start a fresh post so a new series of comments could begin. Or words to that effect. Anyway, it sounded good to me so here it is. From reading the comments that are being left at this blog I can tell that a lot of important information for all RGIS employees is getting out to people everywhere here and that's why I think it's important to keep this blog going.

Also, every once in a while, even though I fight it, frightening RGIS memories of mine surface now and again and I recently recalled another rather amusing incident that happened in my district. Something having to do with toilet paper and a DM's house. I plan on recounting it here so stay tuned...

Help! Help Wanted!

A friend of mine was searching through the classified ads in the local paper recently and spotted something very near but not dear to my heart. "Hey, look at this," he said, as he handed me the newspaper. "Didn't you used to work for these guys?" I looked at the ad and nearly vomited. It was titled "Inventory Counter-Apply and Train now." The ad went something like this:

• $8.50 hr to start
• No experience necessary
• Paid training
• Medical benefits after 90 days
• Flexible scheduling
• Must be 18 years +
• Reliable transportation
• Part-time inventory counter positions available
• Call now for an appt.

Just the sight of that ad brought a shudder of horror and disgust to my heart. Also mixed in was a certain amount of amusement as I went over the ad. "8.50 an hour to start"? Hmm, interesting, that's down from a high of $9.00 not too long ago. "Paid training"? Of course what they don't mention until said training has already begun is that the training pay is at least $1.00 less per hour than the starting wage.

"Medical benefits after 90 days": Well, when did RGIS finally do something halfway decent and give the auditors back their benes that they took away so abruptly when I was working for them? How are the benes? Any good?

"Flexible scheduling": Ah, a creative way of saying, "Well, one week you'll work 30 hours, the next week 5 hours, the next week 0, and the week after that 1 1/2." That's very flexible!

"Must be 18 years +": "However, if you're 50 years + we will immediately classify you in our minds as a 'feeb' or 'goober' and you'll rarely be scheduled for any stores. Probably the only time you'll see work is when we have a big store like Kmart or Target to inventory and we need every available warm body, even the ancient ones."

"Reliable Transportation": "We wish. Actually, since we're so hard up for people to work for us we'll send someone to your house to pick you up on the way to the inventory, especially if you're a hot chick that one of our managers hopes to someday score with."

Very amusing. But it left me curious. Have you guys seen any RGIS help wanted ads in your local papers recently? Do they sound a lot like or identical to the one that I saw? I'd be interested in hearing what RGIS ads are like around the country. Or world rather, as RGIS is global now. So if you see any help wanted ads from RGIS lately please post them here. Thanks!

P.S. Well well well. Looky what I just found on craigslist.org!

$8.50/HR COUNTING stuff at LOCAL RETAILERS (santa rosa) [sic]

"This is a fantastic job to fill in any gaps that you might have in your normal routine. Make us a secondary source of income or your primary source of income...RGIS is the world leader in Inventory Retail Services...We have...40,000 employees...

Desired qualities:

• Team Player
• Competitive Spirit
• Dependable Employee
• Prompt Arrivals

Learn more about us at (the RGIS website url) and see why 40,000 employees love what they do!"

Okay, two things about this craigslist ad makes me laugh. One is the 'Desired Qualities' section. RGIS 'desires' employees who are team players, have competitive spirit, are dependable, and who can manage prompt arrivals? Then why don't they treat their employees decently and pay them a living wage? Why don't they treat their employees decently and not subject them to ridiculous pay decreases based on their EAPHs when said employees are unable to meet unreachable or unknown EAPHs? Why don't they treat their employees decently and not give one small group of a district's pets more favorable treatment (raises, more stores) than the rest of the district? If RGIS could do the unthinkable and treat their employees decently then maybe they might hire and retain more employees who have those qualities that they so desire.

The second thing in that ad that's a laugher is that last line. "Learn more about us...and see why 40,000 employees love what they do!" Oh, that's priceless. "Love what they do." Hey, RGIS employees, does that sound like you?

P.P.S. : I just checked the San Francisco Chronicle (June 20, 2007) and RGIS has a "help wanted" ad there. Their starting pay is $9.25 an hour. Okay, I know S.F. is larger than Santa Rosa but .75 larger? Doesn't sound fair, but then little about RGIS is fair, IMO.

Nicknames Are Nice. No, Seriously!

First of all I just wanted to thank everyone so much for reading my little ol' RGIS blog. I've had a fantastic time writing this blog, and an equally wonderful time reading all of your comments. It's been very educational and entertaining, reading everyone's stories about their own experiences working for RGIS. Without this blog I would have never been able to hear from Auditors and Team Leaders and Managers all over the U.S. and Canada too. It's become apparent to me and probably to most of you as well that no matter what district we're in, and regardless of which state or even which country we're in as well a lot of our RGIS experiences are quite similar. It's helped me a great deal to write about my time with RGIS, and I hope it's helped (and entertained) you to read this blog, as well as the comments left here. I feel like for some it's become a sort of catharsis. This blog has been for some a place to vent their frustration with the way a lot of things have been going with RGIS lately, and I'm very glad to provide a place for people to do just that. I know all too well how unfair things can get sometimes when you're working as a RGIS auditor or TL or even a manager. Sometimes you just want to scream with frustration. Aw, group hug!

Secondly, I have a tiny favor to ask you guys. Don't worry, it's nothing major. When you leave your comments here at this blog, would you please use a nickname instead of commenting as "Anonymous"? It's just that it would make it so much easier for me (and others) when leaving a reply. It doesn't have to be a terribly clever nickname; you could use something like "123" or "Shoe" or "Fungus", whatever. You can even change your nickname every time you leave a comment. It's just that when myself or someone else leaves a reply to your comment it's much easier and quicker to reply to a "Handbag" or a "Dog" than to have to type out "anon. at 4/7/07, 11:35 pm". Choosing the nickname option is very simple. When you leave your comment, you'll see that just below that box there is an option that says "Choose Your Identity". Just select the "Other" option instead of anonymous, and then you can have some fun and pick a nickname. Like I mentioned before, it can be just about anything and you can use a different one every time you leave a comment, if you like. And don't worry, just because you've used a nickname doesn't mean that anyone will know who you are. Unless you use your real name and then you're screwed. Of course you can always still post under "Anonymous" but wouldn't you rather have some fun and pick out a nickname? Of course you would! :)

Where The Hell Are The Archives?

Just a little info in case you were wondering. My dear little RGIS blog has been updated to include some advertising (see links at the top of each page). This has caused the "archives" section of my blog to change locations. The archives used to appear near the top, on the right hand side. You can still view each and every post here (lucky you!), but you have to do some scrolling. You can find them all the way down near the bottom of each page, on the right hand side. Depending on which page you're currently on, and depending on what Blogger feels like doing on any particular day, the archives will be listed by either titles or by which months the posts were published in, or sometimes both. To view the earliest posts, the ones from the very beginning, just click on the last post listed, the one at the very bottom of the list. Keep doing this until you reach the first post, which is titled "Coming Soon To A Blog Near You". Happy reading!

BTW, about the advertising. If you've enjoyed reading this blog, and want to show your support for it, please take a moment to click on one of the ad links at the top of the page. If you do so it will be most appreciated by me. If you haven't enjoyed reading this blog, well then, what are you doing here? Go away. Now. Scram! Beat it! Take a hike! ;)

Comments And More Comments

Recently I've encountered some difficulties in publishing new comments at this blog. Blogger is going through some changes in their system (again!) and that's resulted in several of your comments not getting published. I'm hoping that situation has improved and it will be smooth sailing from now on (well, I can dream can't I?). Thank you for your patience and happy reading!

Running On Empty

Well, when we last met up in the continuing storyline of District 414, Area manager Joe had been named the new District Manager. This bad decision was made very quietly and with little fanfare. Perhaps even the Division office realized how unpopular and unsuccessful this decision was going to be, and wished to draw as little attention to it as possible.

Now, normally I would continue here with how bad Joe was as our DM (he was terrible), and how miserable a time I and everyone else had while working for him. But in going over my notes that I took during the time I worked for RGIS, I realized that I have very little material for this blog left. After Joe was made DM, I wasn't with the district for much longer. All the problems that had been prevalent in my district before Joe's ill-fated promotion remained and in some cases intensified after Joe became DM. Any appeal that my job as auditor held deteriorated to such a low point that I simply could not stand working for RGIS any longer and I quit.

So there's really not much left to tell you. Joe didn't last very long as DM; he stepped down from the position after only a few months and returned to his old AM job. A new DM named Chris moved in. He came from a district in another state, which one I can't remember. In fact Chris was so bland and colorless that I can't really remember anything about him other than he was bland and colorless. Joe was fired a few months after Chris' arrival, and a new AM named Josh arrived. Josh was a horrible AM who had a nasty habit of donning a RGIS grey polo shirt and masquerading as a Team Leader, all so he could count unobserved and unbothered by a store manager. Josh was eventually caught by RGIS higher-ups doing this and was moved to another district. I left my job as auditor shortly thereafter, and that's where this blog ends, more or less.

It's been a lot of fun writing this blog, and I've enjoyed reading most of your comments. You can continue to leave your comments and questions here, and I'll publish them probably two or three times a week. But there most likely will not be any more new entries, as I've simply run out of material. If you don't want to leave any more comments here, but still want to communicate with other RGIS people, I might suggest starting a RGIS auditors discussion group over at Yahoo Groups. I checked and there are already two such discussion groups, but not much activity at either. So someone might want to start their own group.

Goodbye, and thanks for reading.

More Shorts

The following items are just little incidents that I remember from my glory days as a RGIS auditor. They don't really fit into a specific storyline, but I didn't want to leave them out of this blog. So I've just included them here in no particular order.

1. One afternoon after we finished a Long's Drugs inventory District Manager Kevin, on the way back to the RGIS office, drove a vanload of auditors to the Sear's store in San Rafael. We were doing the Sear's inventory in a few weeks, and Kevin told us that the store's manager had asked him to stop by the store for a quick discussion of the store's layout in preparation for the upcoming inventory. As Kevin parked the van outside the store's entrance he told us that he should only be gone a few minutes.

We sat in that van for over two hours. Two hot, uncomfortable, smelly (Mondo was in the van) hours. I don't know about you, but sitting in a crowded van parked in a Sear's parking lot on a hot summer day for over 2 hours was not my idea of fun. Nor anyone else's. Bedroom slippers Erin had dozed off at one point. When she woke up a short time later she was furious to find out we were still at Sear's. "Gimme the time sheet!" she yelled. "I'm signing myself in again!" Finally DM Kevin came out of the store. He climbed into the van and sheepishly apologized for the delay. He claimed that the Sear's manager had insisted Kevin do a full tour of the store's two floors, plus the basement storage rooms. He then did a rare, halfway decent thing and added two hours for each of us to the Long's Drugs time sheet.

2. The districts in the Northwest Division did a lot of inventories together, and each district usually brought a bag or two of their own equipment to each inventory. In order not to get our district's lasers and audit machines mixed up with another district's, orange dot stickers were placed on all of our equipment, including the few stepstools that we had. The idea was that if a District 414 laser or audit machine were accidentally placed in another district's bag it would be easy to spot by the orange dot.

The dots usually helped keep the audit machines and lasers in our district, but not the stepstools. Lots of times I would go into the back room of a grocery store or department store and find a little two-step metal stool with an orange dot on it, left behind from an inventory that we had done months before, and in one case a year before. The first couple of times I found one of my district's stepstools I notified the person running the inventory. The Area Manager or Team Leader each time expressed a little surprise but no other reaction. No "Oh wow, so that's where it was." No "Hey, thanks. Can you grab that one for me?" Just a shrug and a "Hmmm." Well, they didn't seem to care too much about it, so why should I? I would use the stepstool in the store's back room and then leave it there. Accidentally, of course.

3. TL Heather had become disillusioned at working for RGIS and decided to quit. This was around Christmas time, and I had stopped by her house to say hello. I told her I was on my way to the district office party to pick up my January schedule. Heather got a gleam in her eye and told me, "Wait just a minute." She left her living room and came back a short time later with a couple of RGIS polos, a leather belt and a large piece of Christmas wrapping paper. She neatly folded the polo shirts and placed the leather belt on top of them. She wrapped the bundle in the Christmas paper and handed it to me laughing, "Give this to AM Dave and make sure to tell him it's from me."

I got to the district office around 6:00 pm. The Christmas party was in full swing, meaning the lights were on and one cookie platter was visible on the front counter. I picked up my January schedule and spotted AM Dave. I handed him the brightly wrapped package saying, "Heather told me to give you this." Unsuspecting Dave seemed surprised and said, "Oh, well, how nice. Please tell her thank you." I said I would and then I got the hell out before he could open it.

4. AM Joe told a bunch of us this story about when he was an auditor and going through a particularly grueling schedule. He said that it was during one of those interminable Long's Drugs inventory runs (approximately 2 week's worth of Long's stores, one (and sometimes two) per day. In addition to these early morning inventories he was also doing a number of late night stores as well. Joe was so tired that at one point during a Long's inventory he went to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and promptly fell asleep. He told us that he was asleep on the toilet for about half an hour, and the only reason it wasn't any longer was because someone woke him up by banging on the door outside the bathroom and yelling, "I need to get in there!"

5. Once I was standing on a little plastic stepstool (provided by the store) in a Long's Drugs, counting some OTC on a top shelf. Just as Ops Manager Sai walked by behind me I dropped a box of aspirin. Before I could step down and retrieve it Sai stopped, picked up the box and handed it to me, saying in his sing-song Eastern Indian accent, "Oh, you white people are always expecting me to pick things up for you." He then walked away before I could say a word.

6. A small crew of us were doing a port-fn inventory at a grocery store called North Shore Sentry in the little town of Nice, about 2 hours north of our district office. We were short-handed to begin with, and the situation got worse as we arrived at the store because blob Mondo immediately developed a mysterious nosebleed upon exiting the van. He bailed out of counting with us because of this nosebleed and spent the 7+ hours that we were there asleep in the van. Jerk.

TL Eric was running this one, and Eric under pressure was not a pretty sight. He always had difficulty handling "frying" in a store. We were woefully behind schedule, when Eric suddenly said, "I'll get us out of this store." He took a copy of the store's previous inventory, checked the areas that hadn't been counted yet, changed some of the numbers in those area's totals, plugged those new totals into the portable and...ta-dah! We were finished. Eric printed out the whole thing and handed it to the store manager. He was satisfied with the results and we packed up and left, bloody Mondo included. Another quality inventory done by RGIS.

People Problems

Ever read the RGIS newsletter, "The Auditor's Auditor"? This stellar piece of news excellence was (and maybe still is?) published twice a year by RGIS and was available for perusal in my district office. As far as I know I was the only one in Santa Rosa who ever picked up a copy. Well, you never know when it might come in handy. Say you car breaks down and you're stranded way out in the middle of nowhere, when suddenly you experience some intestinal cramping and you think, "Whoops! Gotta go." The Auditor's Auditor would substitute for toilet paper quite nicely.

I have a copy of the Winter 2001 edition (the newsletter was published twice a year). The first page has several photographs of employees who have 25 years or more of subjugation, er I mean employment with RGIS. These photos left me wondering: given the rather dismal treatment that RGIS has been dishing out to their auditors, Team Leaders and Managers lately (wage caps, travel pay cuts, minimum hour cuts, etc.) makes me curious about how many RGIS employees will be "celebrating" their silver anniversary 25 years from now. Wanna bet that it won't be many? If any?

There are several little pieces of first-rate journalism in this issue, and chief among them is a stern piece admonishing auditors who use multi-colored ink pens when filling out time sheets. The anonymous author of the piece also notes that "gel type ink" pens are creating the most havoc, as "many copying and scanning machines cannot 'see' these newer colors and densities. Instead of your name...nothing." The article goes on to state that ballpoint pens with black or blue ink are considered to be the best solution; auditors are also admonished about their poor penmanship and urged to write legibly.

It's nice that RGIS was so helpful in their advice regarding the proper ink pens for use on time sheets. Might I make one more suggestion? If you're a District or Area Manager and you want to alter an auditor's sign in or sign out time, make sure you use the same color pen as the auditor's. That way, you'll be less likely to be caught doing this illegal (in California) act. See, one time during a Target inventory I signed in at 6:00 pm (by my watch and the store's clock. The store had a large clock very helpfully situated on the wall right above where we RGIS folk set up). Later that night when I went to sign out I saw that someone had changed my (and several other's) sign in time to 6:06 pm. Had that person not used a red pen on top of my black one I might not even have noticed.

In regards to this unlawful act committed by a RGIS manager, I would normally pose this question to you: Can you believe this? Can you believe that an AM or DM would be so tightfisted that they would try to cheat a couple of auditors out of 6 minutes worth of pay? But given everything that I've learned about RGIS lately I'd believe anything negative said or written about them. RGIS has some serious problems brewing.

Which brings me to the piece on page three of the "Auditor's Auditor". It's a helpful length of crap called "Handling People Problems at Work." It presents six problems that could potentially crop up at work. RGIS then gives the reader some solutions to each problem. Of course, being RGIS the 'solutions' are both laughable and unusable. I mean, the resolutions they've presented are not that absurd, it's just that the thought of trying to implement these solutions while doing a RGIS inventory is so ridiculous.

1. MY COWORKERS SEEM DISTANT AND UNFRIENDLY. "...Take the first step. Greet everyone pleasantly every day...To avoid misunderstanding, communicate frequently and openly...It's hard to remain gruff when someone is smiling at you." "Greet everyone pleasantly every day." Well, I can just imagine the reaction if I tried to pull this one off at work. I probably would have gotten my head bitten off. I actually witnessed a few newbies trying to act human and say "Good morning" in a few stores. All they got was a vacant stare. As I've mentioned in previous blog entries, most of the auditors in my district were hostile and unfriendly to newbies. Lydia used to say that she never bothered learning any newbie's name until they had been working in the district for at least six months. Given the extremely high turnover rate in my district, this was probably a practical thing for her to do.

"To avoid misunderstandings, communicate frequently and openly..." Another thing that wouldn't have worked in my district. Witness what happened to me when I tried to "communicate" with Area Manager Joe one night during a J.C. Penney's inventory (see blog entry "Fear and Loathing in District 414 {part 2}, August 2006 archives). As I've mentioned before, the managers in my district absolutely hated confrontations of any kind. There was no possible way to communicate with the managers in District 414.

2. MY SUPERVISOR DOESN'T GIVE ME ENOUGH DIRECTION... "Tactfully and pleasantly ask your supervisor to explain the required tasks or supply a written description of them." I can just imagine the reaction I would have received if I had walked up to AM Joe and said (tactfully and pleasantly of course), "Could you please explain to me how I am supposed to count this area? What, you don't have time to explain? Oh, I see. Well, then could you supply me with a written description of what I'm supposed to count and how?" I either would have been laughed out of the store or killed on the spot. Any store that Joe ran was like a nightmare for newbies. Joe's method of introducing newbies to the inventory business was like a sadist's method of teaching someone to swim. Throw 'em in the water and let them sink or swim.

3. MY SKILLS AND ABILITIES ARE UNDERUSED. "Look for ways to make your job more challenging...Take on tasks other have neglected." Hmm...a way to make my job more challenging? Oh I know! Have the AM or TL refuse to bring any stepstools to an inventory and that way I can use my skills and abilities to balance myself on 2 or 3 stacked milk crates. That certainly would be challenging!

"Take on tasks others have neglected." And for how many of you was this already a regular part of your job as an auditor? I mean I was constantly having to come along behind the cherry-pickers, picking up all the areas that they refused to count. One auditor that was notorious for this was an enormously fat girl named Victoria. She would constantly whine and complain about how she was "too tired to count this" or "I'm too tired to climb up this ladder". She would then just wander off aimlessly. It made one furious but what could I do about it? If I told AM Joe he would just mumble something like, "I'll look into it but in the meantime could you do that section?" and then rush off to do God knows what. The whole incident would be instantly forgotten by AM Joe and thus fat Tori would get away with yet another incident of cherry-picking laziness. Again, the AM and DM hated having to go face to face with anybody on anything, so auditors got away with all sorts of shit all the time.

4. MY COWORKER IS VERY CRITICAL OF OTHERS, INCLUDING ME. "Tackle the situation head on by discussing the problem with your co-worker...If necessary, state clearly and frankly what will happen if the behavior doesn't stop..." Okay, I'll try it out on TL Mondo. "Um, Mondo? You know when some auditor screws up an area in an inventory you're running, and then you go over and get in that auditor's face and scream at them and tell them that they're stupid and that they don't know how to count? Well, I don't feel that you're exhibiting very productive behavior. It isn't nice to say to someone, "Stop fucking up and start counting right." There are better ways to put it. And Mondo, if you don't stop with this negative behavior, I'm afraid I will have to inform AM Joe or DM Kevin, who will then have no choice but to ignore me completely and do absolutely nothing about the situation." There! Ahh, I feel so much better now. Thank you RGIS!

5. I AM BEING...TREATED UNFAIRLY BY MY SUPERVISOR. "Discuss the problem in private with your supervisor as soon as possible." Ahem. Tried that, didn't work. (see blog entry "Fear and Loathing in District 414 {part 2}, August 2006 archives).

6. TWO OF MY COWORKERS DISLIKE EACH OTHER, AND I AM CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE. "Talk to someone you respect who is skilled at dealing with people." Well, okay, on the surface that sounds good. But what happens when you have an entire district that dislikes itself? This auditor doesn't like that auditor who doesn't like that auditor, and the managers don't like anyone. What do you do then? What do you do if there is no one at work who you respect, or who is 'skilled' at dealing with people'? What happens then? The district implodes, my friend. It caves in on itself for lack of support or structure.

Well, I hope you enjoyed RGIS' examples of how to handle "People Problems at Work." Tune in next week for more RGIS nonsense.