Fat Man And Lil' Hitler (Conclusion)

If there was one person that was even more abhorrent than Moby in the district, it was his brother Leo. Despised more for his personality disorders than his questionable hygiene, Leo would never win a popularity contest at RGIS or at any company.









Like his disgusting brother Moby, Leo operated under the delusion that he was God's gift to the inventory service. He seemed to have decided very early on in his time with RGIS that he was always 100% right, and everyone else was always wrong. Always. No exceptions. Even Moby felt that you could learn something from anyone, even a newbie, but not Leo. His way was the only right way to do things, and if something got messed up then it was someone else's fault, not his. Even if it meant lying about some screw-up he had committed while running an inventory. He would rather blame a completely innocent person than admit he made a mistake.









A perfect example of this aspect of Leo' defective personality occurred one evening at a CSK (auto parts) inventory that he ran. Team Leader Leo had me and several others start counting in the back room. He told us that when we were finished counting there we could move out onto the sales floor. I asked Leo where he wanted us to start on the sales floor. "Oh, anywhere, it doesn't matter," he told me airily. "We have a late crew coming in, and they should be here by the time you guys are done back there. So you can just take the next available aisle." So when the back room was done I did just that.









Even though it wasn't a very large store, the sales floor took an exceptionally long time to finish (This actually was a common occurrence when Leo or Moby ran an inventory. Even though they had been with RGIS for a number of years, they still fouled up about every store they ran, due to their incompetence and ineptitude). Leo as usual was screwing up left and right. He kept the early crew at the store counting long after we should have been sent home. Not only was this practice of keeping both the early and late crews until the end of the inventory usually not done at a CSK, most of the early crew had a Long's Drugs to do in the morning. It was almost 11:00 pm, and we had to be at the Long's at 5:15 am the next day, but Leo refused to let us sign out. What an asshole.









I decided that I wasn't going to put up with this crap, and went into the bathroom and called AM Jeff on my cell phone. I explained to him what Leo was doing, and Jeff expressed surprise that Leo hadn't let us go yet. He told me that he would take care of it.









I went back out onto the sales floor, and a few minutes later Leo' cell phone rang. It was Jeff, telling Leo to send the early crew home. Finally shithead Leo did something right and told us to finish up our areas, collect to the Ray, sign out and go home. We did, and I gave no more thought to that inventory.









That is, not until a few days later. Word got back to me that in that CSK inventory a small but densely packed section of nuts and bolts and screws on the sales floor had been overlooked. When it was finally discovered and counted the inventory ended up lasting hours more than it should have. TM Leo got chewed out by AM Jeff and Ops Manager Samir. He was asked why did the inventory take so long? Leo' reply was that he had told me to count that section the minute I walked in the door of CSK, but that I simply chose not to do it. So of course it was my fault, not his.









That fucking pudgy, big-hipped asshole lying little bastard Leo! He would rather make up a complete bald-faced lie than to do the right thing and say, "Oops, my fault. I forgot all about that section. I should have caught that. Sorry." But of course he would never do the right thing in a million years, because he was afraid and unwilling to admit to any mistakes at all. What a cowardly little scumbag. He was always doing shitty things like that. It was one of the chief reasons why he was so detested by so many at RGIS.









Another problem that Leo had was that he could never answer a question with a simple, one sentence reply. Even a basic, generic friendly question/comment like, "Wow, Leo, not much stuff to be counted in this store, huh?" could never be answered by him with a "Yes, you're right," or "No, it might take a while." No sir, not by Leo. He would give a big sigh, smile condescendingly at the person who had asked the question, and then give an hour long dissertation on why this would be no easy inventory to do. And all in this very, tired, snobby, slightly feminine voice. He was so annoying and tiresome.









Another thing he used to make a very big deal out of was when he discovered that someone hadn't tagged an area properly. Even if it was in an inventory that he wasn't running. If Leo found an area of books in Border's that only had the beginnings of its shelves tagged and not the ends he would check the area tag to see who had counted there and go find that auditor. He would then bring the auditor back to that area, stand him front of it and say pompously, "Okay, you see this area that you did? Now, I want you to take a really good look at it and tell me where you screwed up." Then Leo would stand there with arms crossed and wait impatiently for the person to answer. When the auditor couldn't come up with anything Leo would tell him snidely about the missing yellow tags. The embarrassed auditor would then tag the ends of all the shelves, and only then would Leo walk away satisfied. Total douche-bag.









Leo wasn't as revoltingly obese as his older brother Moby, but he was more than a little out of shape. He was rather pudgy and built like a female with large round hips. These womanly hips of Leo' were only accentuated even more by the very snug navy blue Dockers he always wore. I think that Leo fancied himself a sharp dresser, which was ridiculous given his ladylike pants. He would sometimes show up for an inventory wearing a tightly belted, too small beige trench coat that he probably thought made him look cool and stylish but instead made him look dorky and stupid.









Leo wore thick, horn-rimmed glasses, combed his hair in a wavy black pompadour and had very thin dark lips that one auditor named Beatrice swore would turn absolutely black every time he got angry. These lips of Leo' would therefore act as a sort of mood ring-type indicator of where his emotions lay, and when and where he might erupt. Which actually didn't happen that often. No, Leo much preferred the behind the scenes and behind your back method of dealing with his problems.









Wretched Moby did tell us this one time when Leo lost it, and in doing so gained his infamous nickname. Leo was running an inventory at Giorgiou, an upscale woman's clothing boutique in Sausalito. The store was in a large converted Victorian house, and had three open-air floors of clothing that completely encircled the interior. Moby told us that Leo was frying (really screwing up and running late) in this inventory because AM Jeff had scheduled all newbies and goobers for Leo's store (Moby and Leo would constantly complain that Jeff did this deliberately to them when they ran stores. AAM Dean also said much the same thing, and that Jeff would schedule the best counters for his [Jeff's] stores, and give everyone else the slowest feebs).









Moby ended up driving down to Sausalito to help his brother out. When Moby walked in to the store he found Leo standing in the middle of the first floor, looking up at an auditor on the third floor and screaming at him at the top of his lungs. "Goddamn it, I told you not to count that rack! Get over to the other goddamn side of the floor and start there!" Moby pulled Leo aside and told him, "Leo, you can't talk to people like that." Leo was unrepentant. "These assholes never listen to me!" he yelled. A few hours later Moby and the store manager were taking a quick break outside. Leo was inside the store, still fuming. "How's the inventory going so far?" Moby asked the store manager. She replied, after clearly being frustrated over having to deal with Leo all day, "We should be all right if we can just get rid of that little Hitler," meaning Leo. Moby made the mistake of telling everyone this story and that did it. From then on Leo was known as Lil' Hitler.









Coming soon: More tales.)